Broken

I am so tired. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. My whole body aches with this sadness that has come to consume me. It is like a virus that I am constantly fighting, but will never be able to cure. I feel like a shell of the girl that I once was. I'm in black and white, stuck standing there watching all of the colorful people and the world pass me by, without even one glance back at me. Everything is falling apart and I am scrambling to pick up the pieces. I just wish someone would notice and help me before the pieces fall too fast and I can't pick them back up.

Bad week

Some bad things have happened lately and these perfectly describe how I am feeling right now... 

It's on days like today when I wish I could just restart my whole life or end it all. 

Not feeling good enough

This title shows how I feel almost every single day. Day in and day out I constantly feel like I'm not good enough for anything. Whether its not feeling pretty or skinny enough, smart enough, or talented enough- just take your pick, I've felt it. 

Two of the biggest examples of this are dance and boys. I'm a dancer and have been passionate about it my whole life. Even though it makes me so happy, I often feel like i am not talented enough. This does come a lot from my coach (I'm on the competitive dance team at my high school) who is crazy and has it in for me for some reason I can't explain. She is contestant lot beating me down and I feel like she does certain things just to hurt me Nd remind me that she has the power. Even though she knows I have depression and that I have a really hard time with it, she still is so evil towards me. You may be thinking ''then why the heck are you dancing on that team?" O have my reasons, but that's a story for another day:) 

BOYS. Every teenage girl desires to be loved and wanted by a boy. That's why we spend so much time primping and getting ready for the day- we just want to catch that one special guy's eye so that maybe he will finally notice us. I constantly see couples in the hallway at school and it makes me feel so alone. My best friend on my dance team has been dating her boyfriend steadily for two years and they are practically engaged. I see the way he looks at her and I long for someone to look at me and feel that way about me so badly. I don't think I'm that ugly or fat, but sometimes I second guess myself and figure that's why boys don't pay any attention to me. I want to feel wanted and good enough for a boy to want to be with me. I mean, I've only been on two dates and they were both disastrous with strange boys... I have never even been to a school dance and this is my last year of school! When is it my turn to have a cute boyfriend who loves me for me?

Hopefully someday I will feel better and stop caring what others think.. I really do want to date a cute boy, but for now I am very lonely and single😭🌟💧

Instagram

I forgot to say my Instagram name is sadgirlinhiding☔ thanks

Instagram

If you'd like daily inspirational and emotional quotes about depression and other related things, follow me on instagram😌

Hello World...

 



Hello to anyone who is out there somewhere in the world reading this. I hope you are reading this... I am the sad girl in hiding as you already know and I want to share my story with you. I am a teenage girl suffering from pretty severe depression. I want to share my story, thoughts, experiences, feelings, and tips to help those out there who are suffering like I am and need help.

 

 I know what it is like to feel so alone and empty inside even if you're in a room full of people. I totally get that, and that's why I am doing this- so you won't feel alone. So you'll feel like you have at least one person out there who knows exactly how you feel and you can reach out to. Whoever reads this, I would love to talk to you and get to know you as a reader. We can share stories, and help each other through this mental illness.

I would love to find someone else out there who is suffering and is in "hiding" like I am everyday. You may have come across my blog and thought "sad girl in hiding... what does that even mean?" Well, like I said, I have bad depression and it's something I have to fight everyday. The "hiding" part is pretty much the way it sounds- I hide my illness because I am scared of what others will think, say, or do. Only a few choice people in my life know, but other than that, most people around me have no clue. To be in "hiding" for me is pretending that nothing is wrong and acting like I am so happy and bubbly, when really I'm aching inside and it took a serious battle just to get out of bed this morning. Everyday I'm in "hiding" and nobody has come to find me yet. Hardly anybody knows that I am sad almost all of the time and that I'm not the happy, carefree, friendly teenage girl they think they know.

 

I hope that explains me and my new blog a little bit better... If you also suffer from depression, I hope you will become a regular reader of my blog. I will try to post daily about how I am doing and try to give help and what not wherever is needed. Please comment nice things only, and if you'd like to be in touch with me, I would LOVE to hear from you! Thanks:)